Things My Husband Says (Out of the Blue, Book 1) by Barbara Blue

Things My Husband Says 

By Barbara Blue 

Short and Sweet Review by Rachel

DO NOT READ THIS BOOK IF THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE OFFENDS YOU,

“I'm full of "baby gravy". You need to do something about that.”

THINGS MY HUSBAND SAYS is an unfiltered collection of conversations between myself and my husband of over twenty-five years. If you have lost your ability to laugh at inappropriate bedroom banter between two married and consenting adults, then IMMEDIATELY STOP READING! This book is not for you. We are from completely different tribes and you will hate everything about this book. I prefer to avoid receiving bad reviews when possible...So help me, help you, help me by you not reading this book full of ridiculous references about fornication.

Emma Chase, NY Times Bestselling Author says,"THINGS MY HUSBAND SAYS is a collection of laugh out loud, holds nothing back, unabashedly honest, gigglingly relatable episodes that are bursting with real-life and real love on every single page. A great read for old married people, newlyweds, singles, and everyone in between."

Joe “Not in My Town” Martin says, “He’s a true inspiration to mankind and they should erect statues of him for us to salute.”

Bryan, The Husband said, “You better not be using my real name in this.”

Out of the Blue Series, Volume One
DISCLAIMER: Paperback copies contain emojis that may appear pixelated or fuzzy due to the printing process. The author chose to keep the emojis in the paperback to maintain the added humor they provide for each episode.  

My Thoughts

Barbara.....Y'all nasty. BAHAHHAA!!!! But seriously....  

This book is exactly what it says it'll be! 

Things My Husband Says is a collection of short stories and conversations that happen between Blue and her husband. It's a funny, and sometimes ewww-inducing look into their "geriatric love nest." If you follow her on social media, you know exactly what you're getting into. If you don't follow her, you're missing out! Unless you're a prude, or if you don't enjoy completely inappropriate sexual innuendos. But....let's be honest, those are the spice of life. 

Here's a peek at one of my favorite "episodes", but you really have to see each one with the emoji's that Blue adds, they totally complete each episode!

Episode #36
Him: I've got a hard on. At our age, we should never let a hard on go to waste. 

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44 Chapters About 4 Men by BB Easton

44 Chapters About 4 Men 

by BB Easton 

Original Release: Jan 2016 

Review by Rachel

SYNOPSIS

School psychologists aren’t supposed to write books about sex. Doing so would be considered “unethical” and “a fireable offense.” Lucky for you, ethics was never my strong suit. 

After spending years trying to spice up my sex life, I gave up and took to my journal. Perhaps my gorgeous, cold, number crunching husband simply wasn’t capable of the kind of passion I’d come to expect. After all, my ex-boyfriends—a skinhead turned US Marine turned motorcycle club outlaw, a baby-faced punk rocker out on parole, and a heavy-metal bass player—were every bit as tattooed and testosterone-fueled as the leading men in my favorite romance novels. If I couldn’t have that kind of passion again in real life, I could at least write about it. Right? Nobody had to know. It would be my little secret. 

Well, guess what? My husband read that shit. 

And guess what else? He upped his fucking game. 

Drunk with power and under the dubious advisement of my best friend and colleague, I began testing the limits—crafting journal entries specifically designed to manipulate Ken’s behavior. For the most part, he responded beautifully…except when he didn’t.

MY THOUGHTS

Good lawd have mercy! WTF did I just read!? Pure, unadulterated hysterical bliss...that's what it was! I. Could. Not. Put. This. Book. Down. I DEVOURED it. How do I even put my thoughts into coherent words? I laughed. I teared up. I had to pick my jaw up off the ground and also take a few cold showers and metaphorical cig breaks. The way it was written, journal style, was PERFECT. It was like sitting down with your best friend and reminiscing about the good old days.

44 chapters wasn't enough. It wasn't nearly enough! I want MORE. Thankfully, BB Easton is giving us more! Each of the 4 men are getting their own book with Knight coming first (as he should) in February 2017.
Her writing is fantastic, quirky, and will keep you entertained until the very last morsel. This book won't be for everyone. It's gritty, dirty, foul mouthed and hardcore in it's own right. For me, it was a boatload of fucked up fun. The men in BB's life will steal your heart. Each and every one of them in their own, flawed, completely fucked up way. I adored BB and Ken's relationship, and what I loved MOST about this book (besides Knight's scary hot bad ass self) was that BB sought to fix her relationship with her husband instead of quitting. Albeit a completely unconventional way, but still, it was an honest and fun look at life and I couldn't have loved it more.

Meme made by Kinky Girls Book Obsessions

I felt like I'd found my best friend, or someone like myself circa 1993-1998. 44 Chapters About 4 Men was entirely different from anything I've ever laid eyes on. BB quickly became an author I'll one click without question. I want to be her bestie, pick her brain, take her advice and talk about Knight until I'm dead and gone. From one 90's bad decision girl to another...I fk'ing loved this novel and I can't say enough about it. 

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Kindle Buy Link

GET TO READING AND GET READY FOR SKIN! 

Knights book will be here in February!